It has been a hot minute since my last blog post. After planning my engagement party, I took a little bit of a break because Elbert and I got legally married late last year! *surprise* for you if you’re not following along on my Instagram.
Busy central has been the name of the game after we got engaged. From planning an engagement party in less than 2 months, to planning our legal marriage celebration for our nearest and dearest in 4 months. Followed by moving in together and adjusting to married life.
I’m super grateful that everything has been running smoothly. Even after 7 years together, we are still in the honeymoon phase.
I’ve been wanting to start a Wedding series on my blog and YouTube channel because I’ve been waiting my whole life to do this haha.
This is the first post in my Wedding Series, and I’m sharing what planning my engagement party and legal wedding in 4 months has taught me thus far!
Tip to planning a wedding: Things are expensive. Like, really expensive.
Planning my engagement party was pretty straightforward as it was less structured. We didn’t need many decorations and I partnered with CRAFT, a fabulous venue in exchange for content. The only decor we got was a bunch of white balloons from the dollar store!
As we were planning our ROM party (Registration of Marriage), that’s when we began seeing what the tip of the iceberg pricing looks like for many of the venues in Vancouver. Planning for a smaller dinner celebration, which in our case was for 30 guests in total (including our photography team) still required a sizable venue and I spoke to close to 15 different places to get their pricing packages.
Disclaimer: You totally don’t have to have a ROM party. We just wanted one because we wanted to get married legally first and have a *smaller* celebration with our nearest and dearest.
That said, if you are engaged, definitely start a savings plan so that you have the funds to put a deposit down when you find a venue. And, expect to fork out a sizable amount depending on your respective budgets. We started a month or two after we got engaged, and if you save a portion of your paycheques every month, it becomes less daunting.
Tip to planning a wedding: Focus on what’s best for you and your partner, and filter out the rest.
Planning our ROM party brought to light a lot of what I’ve already been reading about wedding planning—which is that everyone will have an opinion. My hubby and I are really thankful and fortunate that both our families are pretty chill and don’t really dictate how we go about planning.
If you do find yourself in a position where EVERYONE has something to say about your wedding, then it’s in the best interest of the 2 most important people of the wedding (you and your partner) to decide what makes you happy. Make compromises where you choose to (or don’t) and draw some healthy boundaries.
Easier said than done, but it’s super important that your day is about you.
Tip to planning a wedding: Planning ahead of time is always a good idea.
If you follow my Pinterest board, it’s pretty evident that I want an outdoor, preferably beach wedding. We actually had a beach legal ceremony in the cards for last November but opted not to because of the season (Fall). That said, it may have helped to be able to narrow down stuff due to weather when we were planning, but 4 months was really cutting it close.
I had Elbs, who was extremely proactive and helpful during the planning process, and I work really fast, and like to think that these qualities helped us put 2 parties together in the time that we did. But, definitely leave time to your advantage and plan ahead.
For our 2023 wedding, we’re starting now (which in my mind is still cutting it close). We’re aiming to have things nailed down at least 12-15 months before our planned wedding date.
Tip to planning a wedding: That I’m actually NOT a Bridezilla.
I like being organized, efficient and fast with work, and planning is no different. I love, love, LOVE party planning and honestly think I’m pretty good at it. Though, there was a part of me that always knew I wouldn’t be a bridezilla—maybe just like, a micro-bridezilla. Hah!
Through the 2 experiences with planning our celebrations thus far, I realized that I’m someone who—as long as I tried my best, and did thorough research, I am actually really adaptable and chill with the outcome. There is definitely a dream wedding I have in mind, but I feel really good knowing that I won’t break down and feel destroyed if that doesn’t happen the way I think.
Tip to planning a wedding: Save where you can, and splurge on the important things.
This is a big one! In total, we spent $5000 (ish) Canadian on our ROM Party, which is actually not too bad. There were many factors to this, the season of the year being one of the biggest reasons—late Fall isn’t very popular. Besides that, we had 30 guests including family, our photographers, and the two of us, so it was relatively small. We also did not spend too much on flowers because flowers are ridiculously expensive for something that will die in a few days.
We knew that after planning my engagement party, we had a bigger wedding to plan and hence, was very cost conscious on things like flowers, decor, music, guest list, and photography. If you’re wondering how we saved on one of the biggest costs when it comes to weddings = photos, it’s because I have great friends who are professional photographers and did me a solid in exchange for food and alcohol. That said, we will splurge on our 2023 photography team.
Where we splurged on for our ROM party, well, it was the venue and food.
Oh, let’s not forget the OOTD!
This is of course not including a couple of the most important things—such as the engagement ring, wedding bands and my whole outfit for the ROM party. I’ve gotten heaps of messages about my outfit and honestly, choosing the right one took more time than I imagined it would. My stunning gown was from Alamour The Label, and it was the last dress that I ordered to try on. I had to tailor it because I snagged the larger size but it turned out to be the perfect one! As many of you know, the gorgeous ring Elbert proposed to me with is from Cavalier in Gastown, and this is also where we purchased our wedding bands. We searched a couple places for the wedding bands because it’s very much a part of the full experience. There are a variety of locations you can find ring options at—some with more affordable prices such as these wedding bands from online retailers. Oh, and of course my shoes were Chanel.
My suggestion is to utilize an excel spreadsheet (hugely useful with tabulation of data), and write down the most important things—keep that to a 2-3 max, and then the items that can be saved on. Helps a ton!
It can be a really fun experience to get family involved
This is in contrast to my point on making sure that you’re happy, and not allowing too much outside noise. This is also something you need to decide for yourself.
For us, again, we’re very fortunate that our families want to help, and also know the boundaries involved. Our families helped with the set-up for our ROM party and my sister made the baked treats. They were great emotional support systems as well.
Tip to planning a wedding: Split responsibilities with your partner if you can or want to.
A wedding is a joint responsibility and I personally enjoy it a tad more than Elbs. I noticed that when planning my engagement party. Plus, due to this, I don’t mind doing more.
For example, I handled and am now handling all the email communication with vendors etc because well, I enjoy it.
It really depends on your relationship dynamic but for me and my husband, we work really well together. He’s MUCH better with calculation than I am, so I take on the communication and decor, and he keeps us on budget.
It makes it a whole lot more fun, and really turns the stress into something enjoyable.
Don’t know who else needs to hear this but PLANNING YOUR WEDDING SHOULD BE FUN.
Tip to planning a wedding: Be open to being flexible.
I think this is extremely important. I’ve put together some other events before in my life, and there is this phrase I always hear and say ‘If anything were to go wrong, it will’. Negative? Maybe. But, pretty realistic.
Enjoy the planning process and do your best, but leave room to be flexible and roll with any changes. I personally like having a Plan B and Plan C, but I’m pretty Type A haha.
At the end of the day, it’s about you and your partner. The most memorable thing I have from our ROM party and engagement party is being present with Elbert. The best memory was saying ‘I Do’ and almost crying—like there were 10 people c’mon Sam. I barely really remember the floral arrangements but feeling loved was the best thing of all.
Now, as we jump back into full on wedding wedding planning, I’m excited! Elbs and I are basically repeating the same steps we did with our ROM party, but in a larger capacity.
If you’re planning a wedding, I hope you’re enjoying yourself too!
Excited to share more with you all in this series,
Hugs,
Samantha
