So unless you’ve been under a rock, you’ve heard about this new trending story of 18 year old Instagram star, Essena O’Neill.
Now, I’m not going to shy away and pretend that this isn’t something that relates to the same thing that I do, or people who are in the same field as me. Because it’s true. Those of us who use Instagram as a means of connecting and building a brand faces the exact same thing.
When I was growing up, social media was an unknown entity for me. I was born in the era of chunky cellphones, black and white Snakes games and only getting FB when I turned 16. It scares me to think of how I would’ve handled the social acceptance and approval that comes with Instagram nowadays especially at an age when you’re still developing and trying to figure yourself out.
So kudos to this young lady who despite the overwhelming success online, has decided to give it up. But it’s a wake up call, for me as well.
Now I’m not going to go ‘yea lets give it all up’ because social media for me personally is a choice and what I use it for has become a platform to meet others and to share my life and art. Now I’m NOT defending and saying that social media should be fake but what I am bringing to light is something that most of us already know or don’t want to accept. Everything is subjective to whoever sees it. Different people gather different information from you differently than others and to be quite frank, it’s fun.
It’s fun to meet people all over the world, to learn different ways to be creative, to share what you love with people you can’t physically reach. Dude, it’s fun to take pictures of coffee, like, I love taking pictures of coffee.
Lets be honest, I have had my fair share of fake ‘candids’. But if I was completely honest, it’s again Fun! I enjoy being with my girlfriends and posing for photos. Heck, I LOVE seeing pictures like that. Think about it, unless you have a photographer boyfriend who captures your every move on camera, YOU WON’T LOOK THAT PERFECTLY POSED against that waterfall haha. But, of course there are exceptions, sometimes great shots are indeed (yes its true) actually candid. That’s why we move around while the camera is snapping, so one of it looks fab.
The danger is when as Essena shares, the social pressures or the stresses you put on yourself or even worse, when SM becomes your life. How to balance this? I’m still figuring it out but here are some ways that I’m training myself. (this would differ from person to person)
1. Take one good photo and keep it for later
Sometimes I want to capture that great piece of pie, and maybe the wind will only blow my hair in this great direction for 30 seconds so I have to capture that. But I’ve learned that I can take the picture and then save it for posting afterwards. That way it wouldn’t intrude on being present with someone. Or I make it a fun activity to share with whoever I’m with, sometimes both parties like to take pictures haha.
2. Choose beforehand which experiences to share and which is better to capture with my mind
I’m not a food blogger, and the reason is simple. I eat my food faster than I can take a picture of it. That’s what I’m saying, choose which experiences are best left out of the public eye.
3. Make a conscious decision to put away the phone so it becomes a choice and not addiction
There are some days where I find myself stuck to my phone. And when I say stuck, I mean literally holding on to it and not letting go. So it’s a great feeling to choose to put it in my bag and zip the zipper.
4. Convert feelings of incompetence because of comparison into competition with yourself.
Essena said something that rings true, sadly to myself as well. It’s hard sometimes to not view others as competition- it’s true, it’s hard but not unachievable. So what I’ve found helpful and great is to convert those feelings into something else. Competition stems from wanting to be as successful or to look as great as another person, but if you can channel those feelings into determination to make yourself better FOR YOURSELF and not anyone else, then I think that’s a healthy goal. Plus, life is greater when you can support one another.
5. Don’t strive to be valued by people but be of value to people
Easier said than done. Social media can create monsters inside where the more likes and followers channels into being more appreciated by society. That’s not true. It can also mean that whatever you’re sharing is bringing value to other people’s lives.
Say what?
Use your platform to INSPIRE, MOTIVATE, SHARE. With every post, whether it’s an outfit you love, a view you see, a quote that inspires, do it not because you want more likes, but do it because you want someone to feel as good as it makes you feel.
Fun fact: This location is in between two empty shops in an alleyway that might not smell the greatest. Leaning on this wall involved checking for poo or yucky stuff. Also getting a picture like this takes 5 rounds of staring at strangers who stare back but you gotta keep composed. And it was raining SO YEA. But I had fun, and the photographer who was taking it had fun too… at least I think he did haha
Disclaimer: Essena is an amazingly strong and down to Earth girl. She has managed to gather so much guts to go public with something a lot of us face and bring realization that not everything you see is good or real or authentic. All the views expressed here are solely my own and towards my personal practices.
Images: Isaac Sim